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[September 24; 12:04pm] |
i can't seem to face up to the facts
i'm tense and nervous and i can't relax
i can't sleep, 'cause my bed's on fire.
don't touch me, ( i'm a real live wire. )
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| ( twenty-five ) |
[July 11; 11:29am] |
Hawaii was fun! I mean, not that I thought it wouldn't be, but it definitely was. I'm still not tan, though. I think I could spend two months out in the sun and I still wouldn't be tan.. I'd just turn into a beet or something. My skin just isn't meant to get any darker than this. I didn't really expect it to, either, but it was just a little bit disappointing coming back and telling people I went to Hawaii and having them ask why I didn't have a tan. They're not that important, thank you! But either way, we had a lot of fun except for that creepy creature in the water that was probably totally harmless but still scared me half to death, but then Russ screamed and that was really funny.
That old lady that I mentioned before? She's now taking her cat out on walks in one of those cat strollers. And apparently they let her go in everywhere because the cat is enclosed so it's not spreading any hair. Plus she's 94, so I guess most people just don't want to argue with her. She caught me the other day again, and made me write down my name and birthday because she always remembers her friends on their birthdays. I thought that was sweet.. even if I really doubt I'm going to be living there on my next birthday. I hope I'm not living there, because that would be miserable.
Yeah.. I definitely want to move. My dad is still being grumpy about the fact that I went to Hawaii. My mom wanted to know everything about the trip, and my dad just left the room as soon as I started talking. I feel kinda bad, but he really does need to relax. And I need to get out of the house. I think it's past the point where I should be living there, and I think I'm really ready now. So yeah. I'm going to start seriously looking this time. I know I've said that before, but this time I mean it.
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| ( twenty-four ) |
[June 05; 11:36am] |
I was really sorry to hear about David Carradine. He seemed pretty cool.
Though I do think it's kinda stupid that people are talking about how it clearly isn't suicide because he seemed so upbeat. A lot of times when people kill themselves, others don't expect it before it happens. Depression doesn't really have a neon sign, you know? Some people are obvious about it, but some aren't. And secondly, isn't he an actor? I don't know, just saying an actor didn't seem sad before he killed himself seems kinda silly. It's his job to make people believe things that aren't true, you know? I think he'd be perfectly capable of convincing even his family that he was fine.
But I guess no one ever wants to believe that anyone they knew was that sad. Or that they were so wrapped up in themselves that they didn't notice someone else's troubles. I think the only reason people immediately deny suicide is to save themselves the guilt, you know? This is kind of heavy for work, I guess. Sorry. I was just thinking about it after reading that article.
Whether or not he killed himself, I'm still sorry he's dead. It's kinda amazing how many movies he did in his lifetime. That seems like real passion, you know?
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| ( twenty-three ) |
[May 29; 05:26am] |
I can't sleep. Again. I don't know what it is, but I'm having all this trouble sleeping lately and I kinda think I need to start taking something for it again. I don't know. I don't want to because it's bad to get dependent and everything, but if I'm really not sleeping.. heh, I probably shouldn't be discussing this here. I'll just have to think about it. As long as I'm making an informed decision, right?
Yeah, so.. there's this old lady who lives in my building. She's ninety-four, I think (I'm not sure whether I hope I live that long or not), and she's really nice. But the problem is that once she starts talking to you, she just doesn't stop. I don't know why she wants to talk to me, either. But she cornered me the other day in the lobby and she kept me there for an hour and a half because I couldn't force myself to tell her that I had to leave so I missed the movie I was going to. Her life is kinda fascinating, though. Her dad won an Oscar for cinematography and her mother was killed in a concentration camp (she's a German Jew). Um, yeah. And she has a cat she really loves? I don't know. She talks a lot. I means, she's ninety-four so you have to think that she's been through a lot of shit. She lived in Mexico for a couple of years, and on the Canary Islands for twenty-one years. Her son made her move here, though.
She says she's really unhappy. I feel bad for her, you know? When you're that old, you should be happy. Her son should have let her stay on the Canary Islands if that was what made her happy. She's in good health. I hope that when I'm ninety-four, my children will have the sense to let me make my own decisions.
I mean, if I have children. And if I live that long. It's just, you know, it seems like she should've earned that much.
Yeah. I'm going to go take a shower and get some coffee so I'm not falling asleep at work.
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| ( twenty-two ) |
[April 18; 04:58am] |
I saw this the other day, and I'm still kinda feeling bad about it. Should I have reported it? I don't know. The other day I saw a guy sitting by the subway station with a ferret, right? A white ferret. And this is where I see all the crazies, so I wasn't really thinking anything of it.. but then this guy picked up the ferret (which he had on a leash) and blew smoke in its face. And it went crazy, wriggling in his hands and I felt kinda awkward standing there. He flicked it on the nose, too.
I almost wanted to call and report him, but I wasn't sure that counted as animal abuse. It just made me a little sick to my stomach to see.
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| ( twenty-one ) |
[March 28; 12:09am] |
I'm really excited about the fact that it's spring, or close to it. The strange people who hang out near our subway stop have started to return. The other day I saw a guy in a wizard costume. Pointy hat, robe, walking stick and all. The whole getup. It was.. really weird. I don't know. Kinda not what I was expecting, but who knows? Maybe he had a good reason. Maybe there was a wizard convention in town. Or maybe he just thinks he's a wizard. I mean, who am I to judge that, right? Either way, it was pretty funny. I wanted to go up to him and ask him why he was wearing that, but I was too scared that he'd be offended.
And also, I was a little scared that he'd say, "Wearing what?" and think it was perfectly normal. Then I wouldn't know what to do.
I don't think this is quite as good as the cat guy, but at least it's something.
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| ( twenty ) |
[March 13; 06:11am] |
I really wish I would stop waking up at ungodly hours of the morning, because.. yeah. It's not fun. It throws me off all day and then I'm really tired when I get home so I go to bed early, and then I wake up early again. See? It's one of those vicious cycle things. Why can't I just sleep through the night? Probably because I've been having nightmares for the past couple of days I'm thinking about resorting to NyQuil or getting some of my old sleep meds if they're still good. They should be. It's only been a few months since I stopped using them. It's no big deal or anything, just kind of a pain in the ass.
I think I'm gonna go get some coffee or something on the way into work. Maybe take a short walk.
Yeah, this was a waste of space on your computer screen, sorry.
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| ( nineteen ) |
[February 27; 08:54am] |
So I'm twenty now, hooray? Words cannot express how glad I am that day went by unacknowledged by anyone but Russ Stop it, Kaitlyn I woke up this morning and felt like I hadn't slept at all. Not my favorite way to start the day, but I'm managing. That's what Red Bull is for, right? Haha. I'm glad that we're sort of on the cusp of spring, here. There aren't as many strange homeless people on the streets during the winter, and I never know what to write about.
That sounded really awful. Sorry. I just mean that it's always kinda entertaining to write about these people and their weird gimmicks to get money, and lately I haven't seen any of them. Or maybe it's just too cold to put thought into it. But either way, that means I have to come up with stuff on my own to write about. Which is why I end up writing stuff like this.
And hey, I've been here for five months now. Wow.
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| ( eighteen ) |
[February 17; 06:28am] |
a;sldafkjsfd I had the best Valentine's Day ever and Russ is wonderful and he kissed me and Okay can't write that, get a handle on yourself Valentine's Day was great. Really really great. Like really a;sdlafjsdf stop now. I hope everyone else had a great day.
It's almost my birthday, wow. A week from today! Not that I expect anything. I usually pretty much forget about it, haha. I had a couple birthday parties back in high school, but that was mostly just because my friends wanted to, not because I really cared. Still, I'm kinda liking the idea of being twenty, finally. I won't feel quite so young. And only one more year until I can legally do what I'm not gonna do anyway.. hooray?
Thanks to Alec Baldwin's commercial spot, I discovered how great Hulu is, and I've kinda been watching it obsessively. And since I woke up early today and couldn't get back to sleep, I watched some Family Guy and then a few clips from the first X-Files movie until it was time to go to work. The second movie sucked so much, by the way.. I was really disappointed. I miss the old school X-Files. The clip I watched had Scully saying, "Jesus, Mulder," and for some reason that made me all nostalgic. Gillian Anderson is amazing, basically. I love Scully so much. Sorry, I'm such a geek. I just miss it. I mean, when Chris Carter was at his best, he was amazing. Sort of like Whedon, except Whedon is at his best all the time. Maybe JJ Abrams would be a better comparison. Sometimes they seem to get too caught up in their plot arcs and miss the kind of.. basic stuff between episodes. I don't know. I just worry that Lost will play out much like the X-Files did, where there's supposed to be some big resolution at the end but it doesn't really tell you anything.
And wow, I just went on a rant about that, sorry. I guess it's just been too long since I watched this. Maybe I'll do that tonight after work, or something. Yeah.. that's all.
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| ( seventeen ) |
[February 11; 07:02am] |
I woke up at something like 4am today and I had this really awful headache. I took something for it, but I couldn't get back to sleep.. so yeah. I might be grumpy Kaitlyn today, sorry. If I snap at anyone or anything, I'm apologizing right now. I'm just kinda tired and my head won't stop hurting.
And that sounded really whiny, sorry. I just wanted to make sure people knew why I might be snippy. Yeah.
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